A Human Conundrum

As we wind the month of March down, the time to celebrate women continues.

Dare I write this?

I was a young woman in the 1970s and 80s. While an exhilarating and powerful time, the transitional nature of those decades presented some serious conundrums for women.  At twenty-something back then we women libbers wanted to support our “sisters” but had to compete with them for achievement and recognition in the male-dominated business world.  Working outside the home was still unexpected, not the norm – at least after one married, which was still the expectation.

In that work-a-day world, sexual predation, devaluation, and co-opting of achievements were usual, ordinary occurrences. It was accepted, even expected, that women would earn less than men in the same or similar job.  (the “gender wage gap” still exists worldwide today, though less.)

Many women felt competing with one another for a piece of the proverbial pie was necessary and hard work – whether said “pie” was a husband or a juicy job. Preferably both.  And there were unspoken but understood implicit agreements that we knew we were to remain silent about.  It was a confusing time.

These days the issues women face are different ones, but I think with significant similarities. The “me too” era, coupled with our increasing awareness, blew up and out much of the cultural norm that shamed and silenced women, young and old.  It arrived on the heels of a generation of young women (and men) many of whom feel little of what I describe above.

Young women today seem to assume their worth, value their dreams and aspirations, and decry cultural inequities as a matter of course.

But they do not feel safe.  If my conversations with some of these women represent the larger group, these are their norms. They know to “travel” in groups, and I’m talking local travel —  to the beach, a party, or just out and about.  At parties and in bars, they know to keep a hand over their open drink. Many still live with their parents, unable to afford their own rent and those usual expenses that occur when setting up your own first home.  And most alarming to me, many personally know someone who has been bullied, assaulted, or even raped.  Also, consider the current state of a woman’s right to make decisions about her own body. Further, what student feels safe on their own campus these days?

In large part, we’ve created strong, beautiful young men and women – but threaten them and their futures by bequeathing a culture that accepts and even protects insincerity, greed, and lack of integrity.

Dare I ask this? How did this happen?

No, it isn’t the 1970s or 80s anymore.  Some days I wish it was.

We are all one.  Will we humans ever grow beyond and overcome these polarizing, frightening, and limiting behaviors?